Theo Walcott is packing his bags for Chelsea this morning, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is fed up with Arsenal for not putting in a bid. Chelsea are reaching out to Nasri all teary eyed, hoping for a cuddle. Nasri slams, rocked, disses, abuses Arsenal in a furious outburst. Cesc is currently crawling across a

There I was continuing to cough and splutter as I awoke, stretched my arms and skipped out of bed. The sun shining through the windows and the potential of a glorious day ahead made me feel rather content inside. I sat with the kids around the breakfast table and consumed my hot bowl of cornflakes, yum. The day had got off to a wonderful start. I fling open the garden door and tell the kids to go and play in the sunshine. Before I join you, I will go and check the Arsenal news on newsnow and see if life is as wonderful on there as it is here in erm real life.

There I go, whistling away while I open up Firefox and my first automatic tab to load is newsnow. Yup, I am sad like that.

*Flashing red alert!*

ARSENAL IN CRISIS…again!!!!

The sun has disappeared, the clouds have gathered around and rain along with thunder is crashing all around.

Theo Walcott is packing his bags for Chelsea this morning, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is fed up with Arsenal for not putting in a bid. Chelsea are reaching out to Nasri all teary eyed, hoping for a cuddle. Nasri slams, rocked, disses, abuses Arsenal in a furious outburst. Cesc is currently crawling across a desert somewhere on his way to Barcelona.

Life as we know it is almost at an end.

We already know that Arsenal are the only trophyless team in the history of the game. If you don’t believe me then type in trophyless into Google and 98% of the entries will be Arsenal related. I think the other footballing side was Liverpool which was the last of the list on the first page. Perhaps they went trophyless a couple of hundred years ago I think.

The Walcott story came from the Daily Mail (surprise surprise) and I can just imagine how it came about.

The Daily Mail Chief editor with his tie loosened and shirt unbuttoned revealing a white vest underneath, waves over the new junior reporter into his office.

The reporter banging against a desk as he nervously stumbles through the Daily Mail offices.

Editor: Today is the day where I show you how we do things around here. How does that sound?
Reporter: Yeah good.
Editor: Have you been doing some research? What have you prepared for your first day?
Reporter: Erm yeah, I have. I have some good stuff on how Barcelona technically dominated Manchester Uni…
Editor: What?!
Reporter: erm, how Barcel…
Editor: Shhhh! Stop yourself right there. What on earth is that?
Reporter: *Looking confused and sheepish* I have some really good stats via Zonal Mark…
Editor: Yada yada yada!
Reporter: Looking blanked faced and worried
Editor: I will tell you how we do things around here. I want you to talk about Arsenal.
Reporter: Okay.
Editor: Do you know who Arsenal are?
Reporter: Err yes, Arsenal FC from North London.
Editor: No, The French club in North London.
Reporter: Oh!
Editor: *Raises a tin from his desk* pick out a folded piece of paper.
Reporter: Ok
Editor: DON’T LOOK YOU MUPPET!
Reporter: Erm sure.
Editor: What does it say?
Reporter: *Hands shaking as he unfolds* Theo Walcott
Editor: Nice.
Reporter: What does this mean?
Editor: It is how we do things around here.
Reporter: *Puzzled look*
Editor: I want you to write a story about Walcott leaving Arsenal for erm.. *scratches head whilst dandruff rains to his desk* Chelsea. Yeah, new manager wants Walcott.
Reporter: What about any quotes?
Editor: Hahahaha!
Reporter: Ok, never mind. I shall get started on that now.
Editor: Wait!!
Reporter: Yes boss?
Editor Add the word trophyless in the article four times. We will increase it on tomorrow’s Arsenal in crisis story.
Reporter: Ok boss, right away.

That is how I imagine most tabloid stories come about and I shall not give that story a second glance. What a load of turd.

Plenty is being made of Samir Nasri’s quotes in the News of the world today and perhaps I am being a little naive but they do not sound as bad as some are making out.

Nasri has been accused of being only interested in money and that he is holding the club to ransom but he has come out and basically said that it has never been about money. He is being paid plenty of money already and enjoying his football is far more important. Can you hand on heart say that Nasri looked like a player who is not enjoying his football at Arsenal? The part about wanting to win the Ballon D’Or may well be strange at this moment but perhaps that is linked with enjoying his football and improving as a player.

He wants to win trophies, he wants to enjoy his football, he wants to be regarded as one of the best in his position, he wants Arsenal to match his ambitions etc etc. I am struggling to find the slam, the part where he has rocked Arsenal.

The part that leaves me even more weary is that it is from the News of the world of all rags. Do they not have a history of removing certain information to suit their agenda?

Is it inconceivable to believe that something along the lines of ‘I have improved at Arsenal and Arsene Wenger has done so much for me’ or ‘I am very happy in London and have settled really well here. I hope we can sort something out soon’ has been removed from the article?

As I said, I may well be acting naive and what is being published is the full interview with nothing edited. I don’t know why, but I seriously doubt that is the case.

Whether Nasri should be demanding this, that or the other is a completely different matter. We know he had a fantastic period during last season but he also had a very average ending. He played wide in a front three for most of the season and only contributed one assist in the league.

The Samir Nasri of today is replaceable and if he leaves the club then I have no doubt that Wenger can bring in another player of similar end product. However, I believe that the future Samir Nasri will be a top top player so I hope he stays.

Even if Nasri leaves for a cut price or even on a free then it is not the end of the world. It is not a flipping crisis. Especially if Cesc Fabregas is told to hold tight.

We have a fantastic young foundation with Szczesny, Gibbs, Ramsey, Wilshere, Vermaelen, Djourou, Koscielny etc as well as top senior players such as Sagna, Van Persie and Arshavin. If a few players leave then they will be replaced. We are no longer in the position where we have no money to spend on players.

Don’t believe what you read, we are not in crisis. The Arsenal will be here tomorrow and we will still be a strong side looking to take the next step to reach the very best.

Hardly worth browning your pants over.

I am turning this computer off and going back to enjoy the sunshine.

Back tomorrow.