I still think we should get in Mr brute from non league football, sign him on a pay as you play basis and stick him on the bench. When players like Mr Robinson decide to make their ‘I’m not one of those players’ challenges then Mr Brute’s tactical instructions from Pat Rice will be to go and say a friendly hello to good old Robbo. Take the punishment and come back in three games time. Thinking about it, we may need to buy three of them so that they can rotate

Good afternoon Gooners,

I hope you have had a better start to the day than I have. So far I have dropped a bottle of lasagna sauce on the floor, shattering it all over my drive way. I have got caught in the rain and then almost knocked a woman onto the floor after running to catch my train.

Ah, I know why my day is starting badly. I have figured it out as I type, my plan is to take away all the bad luck away from Arsenal FC so that when we meet Chelsea on Sunday everything goes our way. You see how good I am? Actually sacrificing my life for our club. When we win, you can come back here and thank me for it.

Before the going gets good, we possibly have some more bad luck to contend with. Cesc Fabregas might not be able to make the game as he struggles to regain full fitness. Wenger said that it was 50:50 balancing on the negative side which confuses me somewhat but anyhow, I think it may be better if a not fit Cesc doesn’t start the game. There is no point pushing him to be involved if he cannot give his all. If he is fit enough for the bench then that may be good option to have.

The same must be said of Diaby who is often a slow starter. I would have loved to have seen a fully fit Diaby compete with Essien, Mikel etc, gliding through their midfield. But an unfit, not sharp one would not benefit the team. He is likely to start from the bench.

Jack Wilshere could well have a door left open by injured team mates and quite frankly he deserves his chance based on his current form. Ideally Wenger would want to protect him from too many games at this early stage, especially as it is his first season starting as a first team regular but his performances cannot be ignored. He has thrown age, inexperience and all the rest out of the window and is turning into a big performer for us.

He caused Chelsea many problems last season when playing for Bolton and now I do not expect anything less, especially with better players playing around him. Jack has been called up to the under 21s again and is likely to be a key figure for them against Romania. It is said that he will join the full squad four days later. I hope he is called up to take part in training and then to sit on the bench. As much as I want him to shine for England, it would be unwise to put so much pressure on him so soon. He has gone from youth level football to being thrusted straight into the reserves, playing with older players then finding himself on loan at Bolton and lastly to an Arsenal starter. A lot has happened in such a short space of time.

The last thing we want is Jack to be infected with the Terry, Gerrard, Ashley Cole virus, especially as he is only 18 and not yet immune to those type of disgusting diseases. *shivers*

Kieran Gibbs has also been called up to the under 21s but he is not expected to join Wilshere in the senior squad this time round. Gibbs has a lot less pressure on his shoulders, he isn’t looked at as England’s saviour, the magical boy who will turn England into Spain and all that stuff, so he can get on with his job, whether that be for the under 21s or the senior team.

Back to the injury situation, Nicklas Bendtner will be back in contention after the International break which is great news, it will take the pressure off Chamakh who has had to play plenty of minutes since Van Persie hobbled off, never to be seen again.

Chamakh came to Arsenal with the reputation of being world class in the air, he hasn’t let anyone down so far scoring some vital goals with his bonce and having Bendtner in the side either with or without Chamakh could be quite a good little option for us. Bendtner started the last season on the right of a front three so he could well do the same if given a chance. He and Chamakh could switch positions and interchange continuously during the game and those two would pose a massive threat from set pieces. Exciting stuff.

We have to be patient with Nicklas though, he hasn’t played since the world cup and we know that it takes a while to regain full sharpness but once he does get his form back then he will be a big asset. His goal scoring record at the end of last season was very impressive in a team that was missing many creative players. He has been somewhat forgotten about and now has a chance to show everyone what he can do. Who knows, maybe his game has taken a step forward, let’s wait and see.

Do you want to hear a joke? It is the funniest joke I have heard for a while. I know this is an Arsenal blog and everything but I think it is well worth saying.

Here goes *clears throat*

Man plays football in his team, and then another man does a karate kick in his leg. The manager of player number one complains about said karate kick, so man number two complains about the manager.

Hilarious isn’t it? I know, I know. I cannot take the credit though. I read it in a newspaper.

Yes, I refer to Paul Robinson’s horrific challenge, if that is what you want to call it, on Abou Diaby.

He said:

“It’s typical Arsene isn’t it? An Arsenal player gets hurt and all of a sudden it’s all made public. I’ve seen the tackle and I don’t think it’s bad – it’s a good, hard tackle, When you’re sliding in, sometimes it’s impossible to get out of the way. Are we going to ban tackling? It’s ridiculous.

“Whatever Wenger says won’t affect me because I do it week in, week out so let him have his say. I’m committed to winning and I’m never going to change until I hang my boots up. I don’t go in to hurt people. There are certain tackles that are not acceptable but it’s a hard sport where you put your bodies on the line. Sometimes, unfortunately, you’re going to catch a player.”

‘A good hard tackle’?? what on earth is this world coming to? The funniest part of the joke is the fact that many other supporters, pundits and a large chunk of the media will agree with Mr Robinson. It is just Arsene moaning again, he has to get used to the good old tough English football or go back to France.

It truly makes me sick. I still think we should get in Mr brute from non league football, sign him on a pay as you play basis and stick him on the bench. When players like Mr Robinson decide to make their ‘I’m not one of those players’ challenges then Mr Brute’s tactical instructions from Pat Rice will be to go and say a friendly hello to good old Robbo. Take the punishment and come back in three games time. Thinking about it, we may need to buy three of them so that they can rotate.

I am joking of course, sort of.

It is just laughable in a not funny way, that these players can get away with this. Meanwhile Alex Song gets sent off for complaining about a non foul and then standing in someone’s way.

Right, I need to have a lie down, place a cold flannel on my forehead to cool down.

Back again tomorrow.

PS – Those who missed Iron Man’s Arse Weekly then fear not, you can read that here