To my mind, The Arsenal haven’t had any trouble in the group stages since 2003 and they seem to be becoming more predictable year on year. Some (me) might say that these easy groups are the exact reason The Arsenal get found out when more sterner tests present themselves in the

Brum note

Saturday saw The Arsenal pretty much labour to a win against Birmingham picking up three much needed points to stop the rot after collecting a pitiful one from nine in their previous three Premier League matches. The game was about as pretty as Janet Street-Porter without make-up chewing on a shit-flavoured lemon and about as convincing as Harold Shipman’s legal defence team but 3 points iz 3 points, innit? A win made all the more enjoyable thanks to Chelsea and United drawing their respective matches. But alas, games against the second city blues seem to rarely pass without incident and once again there was a bout of snarling, spitting outrage at more irresponsible, over the top and somewhat dangerous play resulting in a red card. I’ve always wondered the logistics of what would happen if there actually existed a parallel universe as there are so many variables. Would Mike Tyson be a petite, non-rapey white girl? Would we eat the packets and throw away the crisps? Would Gael Clichy be able to use his right foot? Would my blogs actually be funny? So much to consider. My random and nonsensical questions went some way to being answered as for the first time it was an Arsenal player guilty of the apparent misdemeanour. Step forward young Mr. Wilshere.

For some people, Jack’s tackle represents some kind of ironic egg-‘pon-face moment for Le Boss as he has been campaigning for a reduction in the number of injury-causing, dangerous tackles and for their exponents to face appropriate sanctions. Given that Wenger happily acknowledged Jack’s wrong-doing – as did the player himself – rather than trying to defend the indefensible like many of his peers, then surely he strengthens his own argument against these tackles or have I got that wrong? I want to give Alex McLiesh credit as he refused to condemn Little Jack and even rolled out the whole “not that kind of player” chatter we often hear on occasions like this however, I can’t help ignore his smugness as he suggested we “draw a line” under the Eduardo incident. You almost wonder if he was secretly hoping his Zigic’s leg was broken so he could once again retrospectively claim that ‘Gentle Giant’ Martin Taylor did no wrong when he wrecked our favourite Crozilian’s Arsenal career.

Have Penalty

Jack now misses three games and his actions unquestionably took the shine off of what was an important if not spectacular victory. The other main talking point was the decision to award The Arsenal a penalty and a way back into the game when 1-0 down. Even the most red-eyed North Banker can see that in his short time here, Chamakh has shown that he loves a dive more than French people love not going to work and needs very little by way of invitation to get better acquainted with that beautiful, smooth, soft Emirates turf (Mmmm…). On this occasion however, there was clear contact on his heel and in some people’s eyes, that is enough. Now, for someone who plays (badly) at centre-back (and given away many a spot-kick), I don’t think contact = foul. If that decision had been given up the other end we’d be screaming blue murder. It was a fortunate decision and not as “stone wall” as many would like to believe. Contact? yes. A trip? Enough for him to go down? Not on your life. Have to say, I loved the whole denial/defence of “why would I choose to go down?” Erm… to get a penalty maybe?

Yes he MorocCAN!

That’s not to have any sort of dig at the free-scoring Moroccan who has been nothing short of a Brylcreem-clad revelation since joining the club. Winning the penalty and scoring what ultimately proved the be the winning goal against Birmingham as well as his contribution in Europe have only further emphasised his importance to the team following what has been an impressive start to his Arsenal career. With his potential partners/replacements in an almost permanent state of convalescence, Chamkhattack has been thrown in at the deep end like the child of some irresponsible parent at the swimming baths and managed to rise to the surface. He hasn’t had, nor has he required the requisite ‘settling in’ period and has already appeared to have established a great understanding with his team-mates. Long may it continue is what I say.

Euro-smash

While The Arsenal’s league form is not exactly bringing the masses to their knees in awe, Europe is a completely different kettle of fish. That is to that assume fish are distributed in kettle form of course. An emphatic 5-1 pounding of a poor Shakhtar Donetsk side who were supposed to provide the most difficult test in the group  has seen The Arsenal surpass the previous record set by Real Madrid for most times hitting the back of the net after three group games. Of course this ultimately means diddly-squat in the grand scheme of things and barely counts as an achievement if at all but it’s still nice. These games are beginning to have all the feel of glorified friendlies. To my mind, The Arsenal haven’t had any trouble in the group stages since 2003 and they seem to be becoming more predictable year on year. Some (me) might say that these easy groups are the exact reason The Arsenal get found out when more sterner tests present themselves in the latter rounds.

Eduardo

The Emirates crowd get a lot of stick, often justifiably, for a number of things. Showing up late, leaving early, lack of atmosphere, turning on our own etc etc but Tuesday night exemplified the level of class among fans of the famous Red and White with the reception given to former player Eduardo da Silva. Yes, he of previously mentioned leg-snap-ouch fame, Eddie left the club in the summer for Tuesday’s opponents after failing to recover his pre-break form. He received a warm reception when introduced as a second half substitute but also then went on to score the away side’s consolation goals in one of those moments where I seriously wonder if football is as scripted as WWE wrestling. Conspiracy? The thruth is out there… Anyway, his strike was greeted with as much enthusiasm and appreciation by the home fans as any of the five scored by The Arsenal. A fantastic and rare heart-warming moment which showed that in the midst of the Liverpool courtroom gubbins, FIFA corruption scandals, mass debt and Stoke City, football can still show that it is the beautiful game. Mind you, not sure it would have been the same if the game was 1-all at that stage…

Apparently Good Meeting

This week also saw The Arsenal hold their AGM (I don’t see why. The last one was only a year ago…). Nothing particularly groundbreaking was that you wont find better reported elsewhere. All the right noises were made about long-term stability, commitment to youth development, the fine state of the club’s finances and all that jazz but the most interesting point I want to pick up on the manager’s apparent U-turn on the domestic cups as he stated he would be looking to go for every competition this season. Music to my, and I would imagine many other gooners’, ears. I’ll tell you something about myself, I like to gloat. I like to lord it over supporters of other teams, point, laugh and moon at them when The Arsenal are more successful than the teams they support. Lippy, mouthy, whatever you want to say, I am the epitome of the undignified winner (and damn proud too!). At the same time, I am a terrible loser. While I am more than happy to see the club as a whole doing well, let’s not forget why we are all here; Football. We want some of this success to translate into titles and trophies etc. The feeling amongst s
ome is the two are mutually exclusive. They are not. It’s time to be winners on the pitch be it via the Carling Cup or the Champion’s League.

Always Be My Bobby

The outpouring of emotion over Eduardo was not disimilar to that when Super Bobby Pires returned to play against The Arsenal for Villarreal a year or so ago showing that when The Arsenal fans embrace you, that love is rarely lost (Unless you turn out to be swarmy prick like David O’Leary). So much is his lasting affiliation with the club, Super Bob has been back training with the team over the last fortnight or so. Presumably having a word with Chamakh about the art of ‘winning’ penalties or where to get a decent haircut in Hampstead or something. The boss has ruled out offering him a contract which is a shame but as much as I’d like to jump into a Delorean and travel back in time – hopefully not going on dates with my own mother – to 2002, it’s not possible. There were bizarre rumours this week of Pires signing for Crawley town which would be a disaster. No, not because of their low standing in the football pyramid but simply because Crawley is a shithole! Bobby is far too classy to associated with such a place. The player himself is confident he can secure himself a contract with a Premier League club but disturbingly mentioned Stoke City as one of his options. I actually believe the world would implode if he was forced to play under Pulis. Talk about Beauty and the Beast. I’m not he knuckle draggers up there would understand it.:

“Wot’s He doin? He got da ball at he’s feet. He no pass in air. He no no try kill man from other team. Me Confused!”

Injuries

The Arsenal Royal Infirmary is currently not reporting any new patients but it’s bad news for current residents RVP and Tommy V. The Dutchman’s comeback has been delayed as he will spend the next few weeks shooting a sequel to the Bruce Willis film ‘Unbreakable’ taking on the role played by Samuel L. Jackson in the first movie as the main villain, Mr. Glass while The Bionic Belgian will be out for a little while longer because it’s been reported that he’s been fitted with Toyota car parts which unfortunately have been this week recalled by the manufacturer.

Looking ahead

The Arsenal resume Carling Cup duties against Newcastle in midweek and after Wenger’s proclamation to try and win all competitions, I’d expect a similar strength team to that which beat the Spuds to travel up to Tyneside. Before that, the big Game this weekend sees The Arsenal head northeast to face cash rich Manchester City in what is a vital game for both teams as they look to establish themselves as real title contenders. Cesc Fabregas came through the Shakhtar game without hamstring hurty-wurty it seems and should be the driving force as we look to get revenge for the trouncing we got up there last season. I used to love watching Roberto Mancini when I was younger. A classy, classy footballer always capable of producing some wonderful moments of genius for Lazio/Sampdoria back in the day. Sadly, as a manager, he outlook seems to have changed and he has made City one of the most dour, unadventurous football teams you’d care to think of. That said, defensive sides whose sole aim to contain have been our achilles heel for many a year now and you’d imagine City will try and stiffle the game hoping to nick it on the counter. This is concern as pretty much every team fancies themselves to score at least one against Arsenal these days so we are well aware of the likely outcome. As I type this, he who I refuse to speak his name has just completed his hat-trick in City’s Europa league game thus putting himself in the frame to start against us on Sunday but I very much doubt he’ll get the nod. City attempted to be more attacking last week at Blackpool and it nearly cost them so you’d imagine Mancini will be as cautious as a Chilean miner going into his own basement against The Arsenal. Tevez will probably lead the line on his own. The dangerous Adam Johnson will also relish facing our full-backs at the minute and with Nigel de Jong in midfield, I’d be willing to wager a small fortune on us debating tackles once again come Monday. Hopefully the lads can try and pick up where they left off against Shakhtar and see us pick up a vital three points.

Come on The Arsenal!!

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