Hasn’t it just been a great week to be a gooner? Two important away games, two big wins, 7 goals scored, none conceded, players back from injury and, most shockingly from an Arsenal point of view, some outstanding goalkeeping!
City-ing Pretty
At the risk of sounding like some pretentious beardy, faux philosophical ponce who smokes rollies and wears a tweed blazer with converse shoes, an away game at Manchester City in 2010 is poignant and symbolic reminder of the state of the modern game. Less than years ago, The Arsenal would confidently strut up the M1, turn up at Maine Road and it would simply be a case of ‘how many’. Not these days I’m sure I was not alone in my feelings of bladder-weakening trepidation at about 3.30pm last Sunday. Whether you agree with the way they’ve done it or not, this current Manchester City are rubbing shoulders with the big boys and matches against them have become just as ‘big’ as those against Chelsea and United. Ok, the sense of ‘rivalry’ isn’t quite there yet but it would be pretty daft to ignore how important last week’s win actually was.
The victory against Manchester City Millionaires brought about a welcome change of fortunes for The Arsenal in recent ‘grand slam’ matches and just as pleasing as the final result was the manner in which it was achieved. The scoreline was emphatic and the performance was as composed and mature as you would like from a football team. You’d be crazy to deny that the early red card provided a helping hand as big as the one from the old national lottery adverts but alas, you can only beat what is put in front of you and Arsene’s team did it with requisite style. I was incredibly hungover while watching the game and was waiting for us to just press the self-destruct button but thankfully it never came. People have suggested the scoreline was unfair on the home side but when you take into account an Arsenal missed penalty and a number of other squandered chances, I’d say that the 3 goal margin was actually quite generous on Mancini’s men. When the final whistle came, I had to make sure I was actually awake and not having a lovely dream in a beautiful sambuca induced coma.
Laughing Ad YOU!
We must not however, indulge in too much back-slapping and self congratulations. We’d be wise to keep the KY Jelly on ice because on the evidence of their overall impressive performance, you have to think City are on their way to becoming a real force. Most gooners look at City with the kind of disdain that you would a traffic warden, a sex offender or Jamie Redknapp. Me? I don’t share that sentiment just yet. In the title race, if it’s not our lot jumping up and down on the podium with that trophy come May, I’d much, much rather it be City than their detestable neighbours or Chelsea.
If there was one reason I’d be happy to see them fail, it would be solely down to he who I refuse to speak his name who, in his short cameo appearance on Sunday showed exactly what £26million gets you in the modern market. To you, sir twatface, I simply say ha and might I add, HA! I wish Nikki B had celebrated his goal by sprinting the length of the pitch to confront the Togo International and knee-slide with his arms outstretched right in front of him. That would have been Schweeeet!
B52 Bomber
Speaking of Bendtner, his return this week has presented Le Boss with a welcome and tantalising selection ‘problem’. Last week I spoke about how well Chamakh has gelled (no pun intended) into The Arsenal first team but now with a big trouserless Dane scoring two goals in as many games, the Moroccan has some competition and is by no means guaranteed a starting berth week in, week out. And once the lesser-spotted Robin van Persie is back in contention, say it quietly but The Arsenal may actually have some options up front! Mmmm. That word just sent shivers down my spine. Options. Nice. …And now I’m drooling all over my keyboard.
A word on Bendtener’s ahem, let’s say, ‘involvement’ in Theo’s first goal on Wednesday. It’s impossible to defend the indefensible. He was offside and he did commit a foul on this Williamson character while apparently running back. Again, had this happened to an Arsenal player and it cost us a goal, I think the internet would have exploded from the sheer rage of angry Arsenal bloggers complaining about this injustice. That said, as the commentators pointed out, Williamson was in no danger of catching Walcott and his complaints might have been more credible had he not already done something similar to old B52 in the first half. Payback’s a bitch, huh?!
Off the Wal
I wanted to take some time to praise Super Sam Nasri for his jaw-dropping form thus far this season but after Wednesday I have to dedicate the following nonsensical passages to one Theo Walcott who blitzed Newcastle United and secure The Arsenal’s passage to the last eight of the Carling Cup. I’ve never been much of a fan of Theo. I always felt his limitations far outweighed any of the promising aspects of his game. This season however, there has been very little to say negatively about him and right now, he very much looks on the way to becoming as good as the hype surrounding him has led people to believe. When he gets there, I’ll happily sport my hypocrisy cap as I sit in the North Bank telling anyone who cares to listen that I “never doubted him for a second”. Having started the season like a wicker house doused in gasoline and leased to an arsonist, his annual injury hasn’t even been enough to halt his progress. His return to action has seen him display all the attributes that have so many proclaiming him to be the second coming of a previous wearer of the Arsenal number 14 shirt. Yes, Martin Keown would be so proud.
One slight concern is of course, his ability or inability to stay fit. It was interesting to hear Arsene suggest that Theo’s pace could be his achilles heel so to speak. When travelling as fast as he does, it’s easy for defenders to mistime their tackles and cause injury. That and the fact that stopping and changing direction at that speed puts more pressure to his joints and muscles. Could Theo’s best asset ultimately be his undoing? You only need to look at someone like Michael Owen who has gone from European footballer of the year to something of a joke down the years thanks mainly you have to say, to his inability to avoid injury. He almost serves as the perfect cautionary tale for Walcott and other players so reliant on pace from such a young age. Eventually you just wear your body out.
Keeping Problem? What Problem?
Another week, another discussion about Arsenal goalkeepers. But in an event as rare as a funny joke in an episode of BBC 3’s ‘Ideal’ (terrible programme. Just awful), we’re actually sat here praising not one, but TWO Arsenal goalkeepers. The air traffic for pigs over The Emirates has been unusually high for this time of year. Flappy was in inspired form against City and kept the millionaires at bay on a number of occasions. Now, as if this article didn’t lack enough credibility, I’m going to reference Twitter and declare my absolute astonishment and the number of gooners who felt that Flappy’s performance now makes him a sort of modern day Dino Zoff. Don’t get me wrong, it was a top performance and credit where it’s undoubtedly due but we can’t be naïve enough to think that Sunday is enough to erase the painful, painful memories of Spurs (’08), Porto, Wigan, Blackburn etc. Baby steps people, baby steps.
Flappy’s fellow Pole Wojciech Szczesney took to the field to face Newcastle giving most people their first opportunity to see him in action and see whether he was in fact as good as we have been led to believe. I have to say he didn’t disappoint. Pulling off some decent saves at a stage when the game could have still gone either way was one thing but I was impressed with how confident he looked on
crosses, his decision making and his command of his area. Again, not wanting to get ahead of ourselves as he is still very young but this was a more than adequate audition for the number one shirt – which he hopefully wont drop when he gets his hands on it. My only beef is having to copy/paste his name every time I write about him.
Poxy Moxey
Off the pitch, someone who I literally had no idea existed before Tuesday has been mouthing off about our manager. Wolves chief exec, Jez Moxey, someone who apparently believes it’s OK for a grown man to be referred to as ‘Jez’ has told Wenger to “keep [his] mouth shut (exclamation mark)” in relation to Le Boss’ comments following Jack Wilshere’s sending off last week. When I heard this, I initially shared every other gooner’s anger but then I just figured that no-one could really take these comments seriously for two simple reasons. 1) his first name is Jez (I mean, seriously, Fucking JEZ?) and 2) his surname rhymes with Poxy. Combining these two factors means that this must be a hoax and he must be a character from a comedy sketch show like Fonejacker or something. Having wasted 123 words on this person already, I already feel he has had far too much attention from me. The cunt! Let’s move on.
Injuries
The Arsenal Royal Infirmary has apparently made the bold decision to hire actual medical staff as opposed to some chimpanzees in long white jackets and stethoscopes who may or may not have been forced to watch DVDs of Grey’s Anatomy (another shockingly bad TV show) before performing complex operations on Arsenal players. Players seem to be actually recovering from injury at an alarming and slightly terrifying rate. This week has seen the aforementioned Theo and Nikki B return to action as well as Kozza in defence. Kieren Gibbs was also making his comeback but unfortunately took part in just .3 seconds of Wednesday’s match before returning to his sickbed faster than a whippet in a Ferrari on some kind of class A stimulant. A knee injury expected to keep the England left back out for ‘a few weeks’ is the diagnosis from the club.
Looking ahead
Tomorrow it’s bottom of the league West Ham at Highbury Two. With the greatest of respect to the hammers, this game should be a walk in the park. Rarely is a team so deserving of propping up the league table as West Ham are currently. The club seems to be in a terrible state and their on-pitch performances clearly reflect this. Despite their own Carling Cup triumph in midweek, confidence amongst the players would appear to be at an all time low and I doubt they would fancy a trip to the grove right about now. That said, the Hammers have always had a knack of upsetting the big boys and more often than not in recent years, The Arsenal have come a cropper and dropped points against them. Beware the wounded animal and all that. What should be a straightforward win could well turn out to be a Halloween nightmare if the the boys aren’t on top of their game. I’m confident of the three points but not as much as I should be.
After that is the return game against Shaktar in the Champions League. If the Ukrainians play as badly as they did in the first game then the result will be a foregone conclusion. Although given their domestic record and strong European performances over the years (UEFA Cup winners 2009 no less) I fully expect the trip to the Donbass Arena to be far more of a test than the cakewalk at Highbury 2 last week. A draw should be enough for qualification but as we all know, Wenger will send his team out to go for the three points to go through as group winners with two games to spare.
COME ON THE LADS!
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