Unfortunately I fear my temperament pre-match may have had much to do with the eventual performance of my beloved team. While the papers screamed ‘expect’, and Arsenal fans wrote ‘believe’, I could do little more than hope, so lacking in confidence was I that I would finally get to see Arsenal celebrate. They say that art mirrors life, and nowhere was that more true than Sunday. I was far more nervous for this game than I had ever

So it was not to be. Birmingham’s 89th minute strike condemned me to yet another 2-1 loss in a final – my fourth in four finals (Zaragoza, Barcelona, Chelsea, Birmingham) and still the only scoreline I have experienced at that stage of a competition. 

I am still yet to see Arsenal win a trophy despite having officially been a fan for over fifteen years. It is difficult to put into words what that means.

The pain I felt was a strange one. My default position after an important loss is visibly distraught; full of anger and unable to talk to anyone for a significant period of time after the match. This time however, devastated as I was, I was somehow able to pick myself up not ten minutes after the final whistle. Thirty minutes later I was cracking jokes, engaging in conversation with my Spurs supporting flatmate and generally trying to make the most of the evening.

But this only tells part of the story.

I know now, as was fairly obvious at the time, that my joviality was a front. The pain of this loss is not like that I have experienced in football before – it is a lingering, background grief, providing a sentimental soundtrack to my every thought, action, movement. Whatever I say or feel is tainted with sadness and I can only compare this emotional ransom with that experienced in the aftermath of arguments with loved ones. However far my mind strays from Sunday’s events I am always aware of their effects on the edge of my consciousness, ready to leap into full swing at the slightest moment of weakness. It would have been all too easy for me to descend into complete darkness had I not had just enough will left to fight it off, and had I not already prepared myself for the worst.

Unfortunately I fear my temperament pre-match may have had much to do with the eventual performance of my beloved team. While the papers screamed ‘expect’, and Arsenal fans wrote ‘believe’, I could do little more than hope, so lacking in confidence was I that I would finally get to see Arsenal celebrate. They say that art mirrors life, and nowhere was that more true than Sunday. I was far more nervous for this game than I had ever been for an Arsenal game before and I knew then that if I was feeling this way then the players would be feeling the same. I knew that if I was lacking confidence then they would be too and I knew that if I had only hope then I could not expect more from them. 

The game played out how I feared it would but it was that initial fear which brought about the result. 

I guess it’s true that you only get out what you put in. 

But as I was sitting on my sofa last night – my mind teetering and threatening to spiral into full blown despair – I read a single sentence that changed everything. Scouring the internet for others to share my pain with I encountered a collection of words which fills me with hope and puts a smile on my face every time I read it. In a split second, a lifetime of agony had been replaced with a glimmer of hope. 

The sentence was this:

“the only thing to regret about today is when we look back at the end of the season and realise it would have completed the quadruple…..”

Wow. 

The sheer defiance. The pure optimism. The unwavering belief. 

There is absolutely nothing to fault in that statement. There is no mention of ‘picking up the pieces’, no talk of uncertainty. There is only the onward march to bigger and better things.

Whether the sentence turns out to be true or not remains to be seen but however hurt I am I can find no better statement to hold close to my chest through the battles beyond. 

The war is not over and we cannot give up. Many a fight has been won against the odds through belief and belief alone and we have so much more to offer than just belief. Against the odds is what we do best and the weight of expectation cannot lay blameless when Sunday’s history books are written. If anything this loss may throw off the shackles of expectation and allow belief to shine through. 

Should that happen we will be unstoppable. 

No one believes we can win anything anymore and therein lies their weakness. We have gone from overestimation to underestimation in the blink of any eye. It is time to capitalise. 

While everyone is talking about collapse what could possibly frighten them more than a resurgence? While everyone is predicting our downfall what could send out a greater message then us rising up and fighting back?

We are at a crossroads now and it’s time to make a decision: do you stand and fight or do you walk away? Do you throw away years of hard work for the sake of ninety minutes or do you stand up tall?

If it’s all too much for you then you are free to walk away now. You can crawl out of the battlefield and immerse yourself in criticism, doom and disappointment. That is your choice.

But if you want this team to succeed like never before then you have a duty to support it. And support means more than just watching a game. It means picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and fighting 110% to transmit your passion and belief to any eleven players that walk out on the pitch in the red and white of the mighty Arsenal FC. 

Being a supporter is not easy, it is tough. You can fight and fight and put all of your strength into a team only to have your dreams shattered year in year out. You might seem on the cusp of something special and never quite reach the heights and you can drift through divisions without even the slightest hope of winning anything. But you must continue to fight because that one time you do win something it will be the most special feeling of them all.

And you can ask Birmingham how that feels. 

Arsenal have no divine right to win anything and we as Arsenal supporters are not entitled to success. It is for this reason that we must always fight, win or lose, because we know not when our victory will come. 

But we do know that the victory will taste that much sweeter if we have put everything we could have into the struggle. 

Because we can win again. And we will win again. And that again can be as soon as this season. Last time I checked we did not play a Premier League match or an F.A. Cup match or a Champion’s League match this weekend so can someone please tell me how we can possibly be any worse off in those competitions than we were on Sunday morning?

The answer is that we cannot and are not and anyone that tells you otherwise is wrong. 

It seems cliché to come out and stay ‘we still have so much to fight for’ but it is cliché  for a reason. There is still so much to fight for and I for one am going to fight to the death.

And if anyone wants to fight with me you’ll know how to find me. I’ll be wearing a red and white shirt with a cannon on it and screaming at the top of my lungs…

COME ON THE ARSENAL!!!!

WB