As the team allowed themselves to be bossed by nonentities such as Nigel Reo-Coker, the Gooner faithful were not shy in showing their anger. The team were roundly booed during and after the game and whether you agree with it or not, I think it’s very difficult to deny people the right to express themselves. Arsenal Football Club is not a communist state although some of the administration would
Bent double
As your genius author pointed out in last week’s column, our home record against Aston Villa hasn’t been the best since the landlord shook hands and handed Arsene Wenger the keys to Highbury 2 back in 2006. Equally, Darren Bent can barely seem to sneeze without scoring against The Arsenal these days. These two premises should have surely meant that no-one should really have been surprised that Bent’s brace condemned the team to their fourth Premier League home defeat of the season. Yet more suspect “defending” (the inverted commas have become mandatory…) was to be our downfall. Even the returning Thomas Vermaelen was afflicted by whatever disease it is that our back four contract whenever they cross that white line. Honestly, they couldn’t be easier to penetrate if they inhaled an entire quart of poppers and starred in DVDA porn movies.
The Arsenal handed out gifts like it was Hanukah as the former Sunderland man had the freedom of North London to put his side two goals up before you could say “Squillaci played in Champions League final??? Fuck off!”. Villa then knew they could sit back and absorb anything The Arsenal threw at them. Not that this was very much. James ‘Tweedle Dee’ Collins and Richard ‘Tweedle’ Dunne are arguably the worst centre back pairing in the league (yes, even as an Arsenal fan this season, I make this statement without the slightest hint of irony…) yet The Arsenal continuously failed to get the better of these two lumbering oafs. A late Robin van Persie goal halved the deficit but very few people frightening mental problems could even dare to claim that the performance deserved any more than this. Ok, the blind man tasked with refereeing the match failed to award a stonewall first half penalty and disallowed a Chamakh header that would be given 9 times out 10 but given the poor showing overall meant that the Arsenal ended their 2010-11 home campaign with a defeat. Rubbish.
Villa-fied
This defeat was literally the last thing the club needed right about now. I’m deadly serious. Scabies would have been preferable given the climate at Highbury 2 these days. A simmering tension has been building up for some weeks now. Fans were already spitting feathers over the absolutely disgraceful price rise as well as being totally dissatisfied by the continued lack of success on the pitch. I drew attention last week to the planned march by the Black Scarf Movement ahead of the game and as predicted it was only a very small minority that got involved. Given the way things panned out over the next 90 minutes, you imagine many, many more would have followed suit.
As the team allowed themselves to be bossed by nonentities such as Nigel Reo-Coker, the Gooner faithful were not shy in showing their anger. The team were roundly booed during and after the game and whether you agree with it or not, I think it’s very difficult to deny people the right to express themselves. Arsenal Football Club is not a communist state although some of the administration would have you believe otherwise. It would actually be quite cool to see Arsene show up for even just one press conference in an Ushanka and constantly make reference to ‘comrade Eboue’ who would no doubt need little invitation to break out a Cossack Dance.
But I digress. Fans have every right to boo and anyone who is pompous enough to declare that one cannot be a ‘real fan’ for doing so can go and run head first into Holloway Road during busy periods. Me personally? I wouldn’t do it because I feel it’s totally counterproductive. If I thought that jeering and insulting a player would make him play better then you wouldn’t be able to stop me letting him have it. I’d be there with a megaphone and everything just so I made sure I got my point across. Certain players in history have been known to thrive from abuse from the stands. Strong minded and strong willed individuals use it to motivate themselves. Unfortunately, I don’t think any of our lot would be able to handle a bit of fan unrest directed at them. The words ‘mentally weak’ have been bandied about A LOT this spring and giving the players grief will only emphasise this further as they will inevitably crumble. As we saw on Sunday, it seemed to just make them play worse. It is for this reason alone, I would suggest that our fans refrain from booing our players.
One thing I would never discourage however were the “6%, you’re having a laugh” chants directed at the board for the scandalous ticket price rise. All I would add is that I hope these chants continue long into next season even when we are winning matches. The board need to know that the rise is simply not on. People haven’t been ripped off this much since the ear-raping James Blunt Back to Bedlam album went platinum.
Also, patronising us by declaring a sell-out attendance when it is quite clear that the stadium is little more than two thirds full is not going to garner you much support. Epic PR fail!
S-Lap in the face
As is the tradition following the final home game of the season, the team did a lap of appreciation. I don’t know if it’s the players showing appreciation for the fans or vice versa but I’m guessing there was very little either way that afternoon.
Good Ri-Den-se (Sorry)
There has been fevered speculation about which of Wenger’s litter are going to be put down this summer. A lot of the current crop has failed to even remotely live up to the high praise of the manager nor expectations of the fans and that has only served to fuel talks of a mass cull of those that have let him and the club down oh so badly… Take a minute and imagine getting an unfinished handjob every day for a month! A simply glorious tug from a beautiful woman who decides to stop every time she realises you are close to completion. 30 times! Got it? Now, multiply that frustration by ten and that is what it is like watching this lot for much of this season. This frustration has manifested itself in the form of the booing we heard on Sunday. Time was we wouldn’t swap certain Arsenal players for the world but gone are the days when you would look down the teamsheet and be genuinely afraid to lose a player. Almost all of the current squad are nothing more than expendable commodities that can be discarded if they fail to serve their purpose. Like toothbrushes or tampons.
First player out the door it would seem is Denilson who has been quoted as saying he will bidding Auf Wiedersehen to Islington so he can go and fail to track back and win headers, as well as getting constantly muscled off the ball, in either Spain or Italy. The Brazilian leaves after one of the poorest seasons experienced by any Arsenal player that I can remember and does so once again pointing to that mental weakness thing everyone is so obsessed with. If he was so aware of this so-called problem, you wonder what he did to help matters. I’ve never hid the fact that I’m no card-carrying paid up member of the Denilson fan club – I used to slate him before it became cool – so this is welcome news to me. However, I’m not going to rejoice his departure like some have. In fact, I wish him well. A shocking player but if he no longer plays for Arsenal then there is little reason to ack
nowledge him and hold him in such negative regard. For all his faults, he isn’t Ashley Cole.
Incoming…
As to who will be replacing Denilson (and others), the rumour mill is once again in overdrive leaving us to all fantasise about the prospect of seeing everyone from Pele to Sean Bean’s character in When Saturday Comes lining up in the famous Red and White next season.
However, John Cross, a good journalist who knows his onions when it comes to Arsenal related news wrote a piece in The Mirror this week suggesting we don’t get too excited as it’s unlikely Wenger will be changing his transfer policy (you can’t have enough many pre-pubescent school children in your academy…). The man himself confirmed as much with a cagey presser on Thursday ruling out any Katie Price style surgery to the team. Whatever he does, whether it is spending a gazzilion pounds to sign ED-209 from Robocop to bolster the defence or field an entire team of mutant 4 year olds, all I’m hoping for is an improvement.
Jack Attack
As expected little Jack Wilshere – a rare beacon of hope in these dark times – has been named in the England U21 squad for some tournament thingy this summer much to the consternation of our manager. As I’ve stated before, I have no problem with Jack going and getting big match experience on the international stage and surely instead of worrying about the risk of burnout, let’s look at it in a positive light. I expect he will return a better player and that will only be good for Arsenal.
May the fourth be with you / Looking ahead
In Chinese culture, the number 4 is generally considered a sign of bad luck. Call me crazy but I think our East Asian friends might have a point as their tetraphobia seems to be creeping in around Ashburton Grove. Sunday’s defeat was the Arsenal’s fourth at home in this miserable campaign. Our Catalan Captain Marvel who wears the number 4 has been unsettled for much of the year as well as suffering all kinds of bizarre injury problems. At one point we were the only team in contention for an unprecedented quadruple before it all went baps up. No-one will ever forget the catastrophic events at St. James Park this year involving the number 4. Finally, look at where we are likely to now finish after all that has happened. Coincidence? Maybe. Cursed? The truth is out there…
Sunday’s setback, coupled with a resurgent Manchester City has seen The Arsenal drop down to fourth after a dismal run of recent form. This now means the prospect of a Champions League qualifier and an unwelcome early start to next season while everyone else is still sunning themselves in Benidorm. But alas, it’s not all over yet. The unlikely scenario that Bolton beat the new FA Cup holders and we take three points from Craven Cottage against Fulham would see us end the campaign on something of a positive note. Well, positive like having benign tumour is positive. We’ve gone from breathing down the neck of the Champions like some pervert on a South London bus to clinging onto fourth place by our very fingertips. Never has an end to a season been more welcome because if there were just a few more matches who knows how badly things might have turned out?
Aside from a humping at home against Liverpool recently, Fulham have been on an impressive run and the cottagers now see themselves on course for a top half finish. Add to that the eternal bad feeling between Mark Hughes and Arsene Wenger, you imagine the former will send his side out hell bent on making sure they complete our misery with a snot flavoured cheery to perch atop our shit-cake of a season. I’m inclined to think that whatever team Wenger sends out will at least try and salvage some sort of pride but after the last two weeks, I won’t be holding my breath. Thank God it will be all over for a few months by Sunday evening.
COME ON THE GUNNERS!!!
EXAMPLE OF AD POSITION
