Some fans are excited about the prospect of Fabregas and Mata playing together but I have to agree with those who believe that the two are, in basic terms, mutually exclusive. It is unlikely we will spend £20m on Mata without selling Fabregas first which is a crying, wailing, please-stop-screaming-because-it’s-four-in-the-morning-and-I-need-some-sleep-before-work shame. Not only because they would have made a tasty Spanish omelette of a pair on the pitch together but also because I can’t help feeling

Good morning/afternoon/evening/morning (depending on what time this goes out) to all you Gooneriffic sports fans out there in the real world. 

I apologise if the following piece turns out to be an incoherent jumble of semi-logical brainwaves, but as that pretty much sums me up it’s probably the best you can hope for. You have permission to blame my parents. 

I’ve been a bit concerned recently. I’m a naturally jovial and positive person – a bit like an anorexic Santa Claus without the Coca-Cola endorsement – but the negative aura of the transfer window has virtually killed my bounce dead like a Dennis Bergkamp touch. 

This has been reflected in my posts which, while still as well written and perfectly executed as ever (stop laughing), have contained barely a trace of my usual, high-spirited self. Which is probably why I got so many responses. 

In any case, for the sake of my own sanity I simply have to pen something that is more light hearted in tone and this just happens to be that. Or something. 

Right, enough personal therapy. Onto the football.  

Any Arsenal fan with an ounce of brain Mata will be aware of the Mata at hand involving the potential transfer of Mata to the only team that Matas……….Mata Matter Mata Matter Mata Matter Mata Matter Mata Matter (repeat till death). Personally I think that with the most talented blogging scene and the mostest cleverest fans in the whole wide world we can come up with something more original than replacing ‘matter’ with ‘Mata’ over and over but since I have already been slated on Twitter for saying exactly that I won’t go Juan about it.  

Some fans are excited about the prospect of Fabregas and Mata playing together but I have to agree with those who believe that the two are, in basic terms, mutually exclusive. It is unlikely we will spend £20m on Mata without selling Fabregas first which is a crying, wailing, please-stop-screaming-because-it’s-four-in-the-morning-and-I-need-some-sleep-before-work shame. Not only because they would have made a tasty Spanish omelette of a pair on the pitch together but also because I can’t help feeling that having a quality player from his homeland in the squad would have been another little tug on Cesc’s shirt in the direction of Arsenal.  

Not a filthy, I can feel the grease oozing off his palms, John Terry behind the ref’s back sort of tug but more like a ‘daddy please don’t go to the war, I’ll mith you’, guilt-inducing, gentle persuasion sort of tug. 

Alas, I fear it is not to be so while you’re praying for Mata to arrive remember that the likely downside of that particular arrangement will be our captain leaving. A very sad sight indeed. 

However, you may remember me saying how positive I am and, yes, sure enough there is an upside to this whole situation (I’m well prepared for the vitriolic backlash below). For while the talent of Cescy Cescpot McCescinsson can never truly be replaced his contribution perhaps can be. 

How? Well perhaps through having a player that might actually last a season without breaking down. No-one can deny that our Fabulous No. 4’s injury record has been slowly climbing the charts and when your best player is only playing for 1/2 a season then in reality you’re only getting to use 1/2 the talent. 

By that a logic a player who is only 2/3 as good as Fabregas but plays a whole season will give you an extra 1/6 of output throughout the year. And for those that don’t follow my fraction-based analysis suffice it to say that that’s a very good thing. 

Not that we can rely on any key player lasting a whole season without injury at Arsenal.  

Another way in which the Mata/Fabregas swap may assist us is by allowing us to hand the captaincy to someone who doesn’t want to leave. I know there are hordes of Arsenal fans who are desperate to see Fabs go (not me, mind) so that we don’t have a wantaway captain ‘leading’ the team and though I don’t really agree with their general perspective I can certainly see the benefits in that outcome. 

Van Persie is the obvious choice and he’d make a fine captain in my book. A fiery and extremely talented Spurs-despising Arsenal fan who hates to lose – what’s not to love about that? 

The third tick in the box if you like would be versatility. Cesc plays in the Cesc role which was designed for Cesc and that’s where he plays. From what I understand (and please correct me if I’m wrong) Mata can play on the wing as well as centrally and that would leave us with an almost unbelievably flexible attacking squad. 

Gervinho, Walcott, Nasri, Van Persie, Mata and Arshavin (and Vela if he plays) would all be capable of filling any one of a number of positions, giving us with a greater array of options in terms of line up, a better insurance policy against injury and a heightened fluidity in our attacks. I can picture it now – players swapping positions like partners in a royal dance, gracefully linking arms and doing a full circle before darting off in the opposite direction with the ball to swing a gorgeous curler into the back of the net. It’ll be well Elizabethan. 

All of this is of course contingent on us a) signing Mata and b) losing our captain which is only half good (if that) and not even half complete so any sort of excitement over this is firmly misplaced at this stage. Doesn’t mean we can’t pretend though, and I love a good pretend. Just ask my imaginary enemy. 

Careful though, he’ll make believe kick your arse if you don’t watch it.

Anyway , thank you for reading this pixellated multitude of personality-inspired words I hope some may come to call an ‘article’. And if you take just one thing away from it…please make sure you bring it back. 

Love, respect and Jack Wilshere through to Gervinho six minutes in,

WB

@WengerBoy1