I commented earlier this season about how I didn’t much care for this new marauding Alex Song. He was probably the worst player on the pitch in a red shirt last Saturday and that has to be down to the fact he simply did not know his responsibility. If

Huzzah! Two wins in a week. That’s good enough, right? Top of the league and through to the Champions League last 16. Admittedly, things could be worse right about now. Having scabies or having to listen to a Katy Perry album for instance. All is well in the Arsenal world right now… Isn’t it?

A win is a win is a win…

A 2-1 win against Premier League strugglers Fulham followed by a 3-1 win against European strugglers Partizan Belgrade were enough to reach the dizzy heights mentioned above. Now, if you offered me these results this time last week, I would have bitten your hands off. I’m not sure how exactly this would have helped matters as I would have probably been sent down on an ABH charge and you would have no hands…

Yes, the results were fine but the performances? Not so much. In both matches, Arsenal have looked about as as pretty as Mike Tyson in drag and even less convincing. Against Fulham at Highbury 2 Arsenal were 1-0 up but the visitors scored with their first shot on goal. Against Belgrade at Highbury 2, Arsenal were 1-0 up but the visitors scored with their first shot on… well, you get the picture. This is our Arsenal and until we are prepared to admit that we are about as secure in defence as the clam of a lady of the night in Amsterdam’s red light district we will be saying the same thing over and over again until we are old, senile and wetting ourselves indiscriminately in run down nursing homes somewhere west of Ealing.

“What a marvelous fabric, he said then. “I’ll certainly tell the Emperor.”

The last time I wasn’t too hungover to compile this pitiful excuse for a blog, I mused about the problems with our defence and the fact that it is down to the manager to rectify this. It doesn’t really bare repeating because we, the mere mortals, are bored of repeating ourselves. Going on Wenger’s quite frankly perplexing comments this week, I have very little faith in these obvious issues being addressed. Wenger suggested that we are stronger as a unit defensively this year because we’ve conceded less goals than at the same stage last season.

Wenger then went on to talk about losing the Sp*rs game and how it showed defensive strength because they were only limited to the three chances with which they scored and ultimately won the game. Upon hearing this, I decided to go and do a lot of MDMA and start reading a Mandarin translation of Wittgenstein’s Tractatus upside down because it still made more sense than what Wenger was talking about.

Fair enough he doesn’t want to come out and slate the defence in public but as a fan I find it patronising that we are expected to just accept what he says given that even Ray Charles can clearly see that we are not defending well enough. Koscielny is struggling in his first season, although what doesn’t help is being head-butted in the face by your fellow countryman and Premier League novice Seb Squillaci who himself seems to be getting worse with each passing game. When Johan Djourou looks your most accomplished centre half then you know it’s time to worry.

To say the back four has been shaky is an understatement. People with Parkinson’s are shaky. The plot of Lost is shaky. The Arsenal defence is the equivalent of a Tokyo skyscraper during a Japanese earthquake! For all the plaudits rightly attributed to the attackers, the backline needs to take a hell of a lot of blame for their failings. We may be top of the tree right now but it’s almost with a sense of inevitability that people are claiming that we aren’t good enough to stay there. There is no reason for people to hold this view other than because of a defence that is as likely to crumble as a badly baked flapjack.

With Tommy V still requiring replacement bionic limbs, it leaves Arsenal relying on two players with very little Premier League experience and one who has been injured for the best part of a year. This is the sum total of why Arsenal are conceding so many soft goals. In instances such as this, they need something called protection from the players in front of them. The mad Russian admitted this week to the surprise of no-one who has ever even seen a football that he sometimes doesn’t track back and help the defence but acknowledged at least that the players need to start doing it more.

I commented earlier this season about how I didn’t much care for this new marauding Alex Song. He was probably the worst player on the pitch in a red shirt last Saturday and that has to be down to the fact he simply did not know his responsibility. If he ‘sat’ as he has been doing in recent years, defensively Arsenal would be much more secure and ‘protected’. Instead, we have to put up with the ineptitude of Denilson who is as clued up on what constitutes good protection as Julian Assange (allegedly). It turns out this recent headless chicken act by Song is at the behest of the manager who pretty much confirmed this week that defending is a afterthought and that as long as we score more than the opposition, everything will be ok.

Nas One Sam

We can rant as long as we want about this but I think we ought to accept that nothing will change. We just need to hope that if our philosophy is to be attack as the best form of defence then our attack need to be firing on all cylinders. Against Fulham, there were a number of opportunities to put the game out of sight before the inevitable concession of a goal while on Wednesday, it was only at 1-1 did the boys actually realise they needed to try and score some goals. The constant on both occasions was one Samir Nasri who is playing as well as anybody in world football right now. The two goals against Fulham will be discussed, among gooners at least for years to come. His finish on Wednesday was as composed as you like. Nasri is adding a sense of directness to all the tippy-tappy and in the absence of our Catalan Captain Marvel, is proving to be arguably the most vital cog in the Arsenal machine currently. I’m sure you can read further gushing tributes elsewhere so I’ll just say that I hope these magical performances can continue for some time and that for the love of Buddha he signs a new contract.

Reliant Robin

Also key to this ‘we’ll score more than you’ mantra is the returning Robin van Persie whose penalty against Partizan Belgrade was the first of what will hopefully be many goals as The Arsenal march on towards my regularly predicted Quadruple trophy-winning success this season. That said, with the addition of Chamakh this term, Robin seems to be back playing in a more deeper role up front which is likely to see him create far more than he scores this year. With his ability and clinical execution of a pass, this wont be a bad thing at all. On Wednesday he looked slightly rusty and the understanding with the Moroccan is not quite there yet but in time I see the makings of a beautiful free-scoring relationship there. With these two along with Arshavin, the aforementioned Nasri and a hopefully fit Cesc Fabregas, I have no doubt that this could be the most feared attack in all the land. Sorry (well, not really…) to keep harping on about it but if Wenger can just get it right defensively, The Arsenal could be unstoppable.

My only issue with van Persie was his celebration after the penalty when I’m pretty sure I was just one of millions of gooners worldwide shouting “JESUS! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?” as our much-loved Dutchman leaped into the air and landed on his ceramic kn
ees. No damage done thankfully.

Injuries

…Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of Kieran Gibbs who was the victim of a vicious assault by a blade of grass on the Emirates pitch. Despite young Gibbsy having to head straight to the Arsenal Royal Infirmary for the 88^th time in the last 6 months, the referee did not see fit to send off the offending patch of turf. Shocking. Three weeks with hurty-wurty ankle is the prognosis.

Looking ahead

Monday sees The Arsenal head north to face old foes Manchester United. Despite our newly acquired position atop the table, we have those northern monkeys breathing down our necks in second place with a game in hand. They are unbeaten so far this season so we’ll be hoping to amened that statistic with a win of any description at Old Trafford.

To say we have history with the Mancs is like saying North Korea have history with South Korea. A bitter, bitter rivalry exists between the two clubs that has seen everything from mass brawls on the pitch to pizza throwing! Ok, no-one has died but the rivalry is as intense as any in football and most if not all gooners will tell you that beating United provides as great a sense of satisfaction as a job promotion or autoerotic asphyxiation.

Given their own start to the season, it’s fair to say that this isn’t the strongest Man Utd side Arsenal have faced down the years. As a unit they can still be formidable and are rightly one of the favourites for the title but looking at individual areas, there are certainly weaknesses to be exploited. In Europe their defence has looked rock solid but on home soil they have looked almost as uncertain as The Arsenal at times. If our attack can get at them, goals will be scored. Most Mancs will tell you their midfield is a weak as it’s ever been. As one of our stronger areas, we should look to capitalise. Up front Berbatov has been inconsistent and we all know how out of sorts the fat granny shagger has looked this year. However, given his record against us, I don’t think anyone will be surprised to see Rooney miraculously back to his best come Monday.

Cesc Fabregas is touch and go for the match. Like others have said, it will probably be best to leave him out. There’s no sense in compromising his long term fitness for this one game. If he’s not fully fit, he may well end up being a hindrance rather than a help. Besides, I’m pretty sure pizza is no longer on the menu at Old Trafford.

Rarely for one of these encounters, I’m quite confident. Going into the game, The Arsenal are for once in the privileged position of being above their mortal enemies so will not under as much pressure to get the result compared to if they were trying to play catch-up. Hopefully, with this pressure off, the boys will be liberated allowing them to play freely and confidently enough to get the three points. Then again, Arsenal generally always play well against United although recent results would suggest otherwise. However, these adverse scorelines are, more often than not, down to individual errors or collective mistakes. Kieran Gibbs’ failed audition for the Ice Capades in the Champions League, Diaby and his Toblerone head last season, Denilson’s inability to track runners at the Emirates in January etc etc. Hopefully, lessons have been learned. Unlikely, but I remain positive. IF Arsenal can somehow learn in 48 hours how to defend well and don’t gift the initiative to United then there is no doubt it my mind which side will come away with the win on Monday night.

COME ON THE ARSENAL!!