Personally I would like to see our club maintain the self sustaining model but increase our wages. We are no longer a middle tier club and much of that is thanks to the great work that Arsene Wenger has done in the transfer window and keeping our Champions League place during our move to the Emirates stadium. I have said it before and I will say it again. I think it is more important to keep hold of our players rather than spend more in the transfer window. If we can do both then fantastic but if we

Arsene Wenger slammed open the boardroom door so hard that it smashed against the table behind it and the cups of tea that were placed on the table toppled onto the floor. Arsene looked furious and as angry as he usually was away from the cameras at Arsenal.

Gazidis froze and looked red faced while Hill-Wood with an arm on the table rested his head on his hand to prevent eye contact with the ruler of the Arsenal football club.

“What is going on in here?” Wenger snapped aggressively.

Ken Friar took a step back away from Ivan Gazidis and Peter Hill-Wood and glared at the CEO as if to prompt Gazidis to speak up.

“I said WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” Wenger screamed.

The board members jumped in terror and Ivan shuffled around in his seat red faced, before forcing a timid smirk.

“Hey Arsene, we were just chit chatting about Juan Mata. Nothing much really, we wanted to talk properly to you about it before going into detail” said Ivan.

Arsene lowered his head for a couple of seconds and gently lifted his head before beckoning Ivan over with a warm looking smile on his face.

Ivan shuffled towards Arsene and before he could speak Arsene struck Ivan with the back of his hand very hard straight in his mouth.

“I deal with transfers, I deal with the money. I am Arsenal. I will not tell any of you again, now get back over with those imbeciles” Wenger snarled.

“So, what do you have to say about this Mata fella then?” Arsene said glaring straight at Ken. Friar looked over at Gazidis who was silently holding his mouth with tears running down his face.

“Erm, well Arsene, sir. We wanted to know what you erm well, you know. Thought of signing the Valencia midfielder as a replacement to anyone who leaves the club, but obviously that is down to you” Ken stuttered.

“Of course it is down to me fool.” Wenger retorted.

“I like the kid, he has the technical qualities to succeed at Arsenal. Do you know what technical qualities means Pete?” Wenger said pointing to Hill-Wood.

“Yes sir, you taught us a little about that” said Hill-Wood.

“If I tell you to gather £200m plus a further £300k per week by tomorrow for this deal, will you get it done for me?” Wenger smiled.

All the board members present barely allowed Wenger to finish his words before all agreeing to find the money and nodding passionately.

“You little Merdes! That money is my money. Are youz lot thick? You are all lacking mental strengthz. Why would I want to spend my money on players like Mata. I am using my Arsenal cash to increase our squad players on super massive wages. Wages never seen in this game of modern football. You will never be able to count the amount of zero’s in Bendtner’s wage packet.” Chuckled Wenger.

“Ok, cause I am in a good mood and we have to work together, I am going to be nice and put in a bid but only one that meets my wage structure. Not the clubs, but my own because everyone know’s I am in charge of everything at Arsenal. I know Chelsea are sniffing around but I couldn’t give ze monkey’s. If they are stupid enough to buy him then so be it.” said Wenger.

“The hilarious thing is that I could go out tomorrow and buy Hazard, Gotze, M’Villa and Benzema tomorrow but I won’t do it. Why? Just to annoy you bunch of morons who want me to do it at any price. hahaha. Never you fools. If I don’t seal the rest of my deals before hand then you lot better wake up on the last week and bring in some players. If you spent ze big cash then I will slap you three much harder than I just slapped Ivan. Do you understand?” Wenger continued.

Ivan, Ken and Peter all nodded and with that Arsene strolled out of the door before popping his head back around the door and saying.

“Ivan! remind Ricey to print out some more defending forbidden signs please. The training ground needs a few more. Cheers buddy”

—————————————-

Judging by a few comments on yesterday’s article called Why ‘failure’ Wenger is irreplaceable it would appear that a picture has been painted of our manager. The ego driven manager who does not want to spend any money on quality, who treats the money as his own and who has too much power at Arsenal.

I do not understand why such nonsense has been turned into fact. The idea that our manager has to work within constraints as do all other managers to varying degrees, just does not fit I guess.

Interestingly, not one person answered the main question of the article, instead recycling what he hasn’t done well. If you haven’t read the article then please do so and see if you can find the answer.

Another strange criticism of Arsenal and Arsene Wenger is the amount of wages our players are paid. On the one hand we are told that we do not spend enough money, that we are being left behind then in the next breath we pay our ‘average’ players ‘huge’ amounts of money.

The huge amount of money we pay to our players is a great deal less than Manchester City, Manchester United and Chelsea pay their players. We are the fourth highest wage payers in the league and we have regularly finished erm.. fourth. That seems normal to me but I am a little crazy I guess.

Personally I would like to see our club maintain the self sustaining model but increase our wages. We are no longer a middle tier club and much of that is thanks to the great work that Arsene Wenger has done in the transfer window and keeping our Champions League place during our move to the Emirates stadium. I have said it before and I will say it again. I think it is more important to keep hold of our players rather than spend more in the transfer window. If we can do both then fantastic but if we have to raise one while lower the other then I would much rather see the club offer the likes of van Persie, Thomas Vermaelen, Alex Song and other top players an amount that rivals Manchester United. We can never match Manchester City but if we want to avoid Nasri situations turning up every few seasons then there has to be some type of rethink.

It is not realistic to pay other first team and squad players £20k per week and then RVP £115k so a balance has to be struck and it is why our players get paid for being a Champions League outfit.

Moving onto today’s stuff Jack Wilshere has once again declared his love for the Arse. Wilshere talking to the Evening standard said: “No disrespect to Manchester City but Arsenal is the perfect home for me right now. I really am happy at Arsenal at the minute. Obviously, I want to win things and I want to do it with Arsenal.

“Some players have got their price but, to be honest, that’s not the way I look at the game. All I think about is playing at the highest level and in the top competitions so I can measure myself against the best in the world”.

We cannot compete with the highest payers in the league but what we are trying to do is grow a group of young players together who will grow to love the club. It has not always been enough to keep players of old but let us hope that we can hold onto the new batch.

And with that, I bid you farewell.

Back tomorrow.