Imagine that nasty, slimy Peter Kenyon whispering sweet nothings in the ears of Jacks parents

Another good morning to all you Gooners out there.

I am in one of my stupid moods today, talking random crap to strangers on the train and generally pissing my girlfriend off. I think it is lack of sleep that is to blame for my behaviour. What does this have to do with football I hear you say.. well, I’ll tell you.

Sod all!

So what about all this Jack Wilshere lark? Well I have started to think about all the attention this wee lad is getting and it cannot be good for a number of reasons. The main reason why this is not good is because we tend to attract vultures over our players more often than not. Everyone wants to take our young players to their clubs because they know Mr Wenger is the don and has the ability to turn water to Pepsi and stuff.

Mr Wilshere is only 16 years old therefore has not signed anything to commit himself to the club as it is against the rules (correct me if I am wrong)

I am sure there are many beady eyes looking at him from around the world, especially after his pre season appearances. Imagine that nasty, slimy Peter Kenyon whispering sweet nothings in the ears of Jacks parents.

How about Mr Hleb passing on information to Barca to plan their revenge against us for poaching Cesc Fabregas.

I think it is time to take action before it is too late. We have to start off by changing Jack’s name to Franky Moosbi and rename our worst young player to Jack Wilshere. Post loads of clips of the new Wilshere on YouTube with a bit of Photoshop and Adobe Premier to make it look real, post loads of comments on blogs and sites stating how shite Wilshere is and hey presto we are sorted.

Speaking of shite players (ok maybe not, but you know what I mean) David Bentley has been sucking up to his new supporters saying that he wants to “Stick it up the Arsenal.”

Oh in case you didn’t know, he is a Tottenham boy now. I remember when he was a Manchester United supporter then he was a Gunner and now he is a wanker (not that he wasn’t before of course)

David Bentley is arrogant, flashy, one paced and one dimensional who has a good cross and freekick. But what he is good for is making us £7 million richer for doing nothing! hahaha, what a great piece of business.

I personally would work on Lennon’s final ball instead of forking out stupid money on Bentley.

The mad one is continuing the trend of players who head out of the exit door. Speaking about our affairs. Jens Lehmann is trying to knock some sense into Adebayor over trying to leave the club.

“If you look at every player who’s left Arsenal, they’ve not managed to shine at their new club.

“It’s wrong to write off Arsenal. Everyone did so last season and we nearly won the Premier League title.”

You gotta love the mad German. You can tell how much he loves the club even though for large periods of his time at Arsenal he was a lunatic.

He is correct though, Ade should look at his future seriously and if he wants to improve as a footballer then staying at Arsenal is the best place for him. I suppose it shouldn’t really be down to him as he is firmly under contract. If he does leave then all we have to do is take a little bit of Theo’s speed gene mixed with some Ray Parlour work rate gene and inject then into Bendtner. Sorted.

Right, I have nothing constructive to say at the moment so I will call it a morning.

Back tomorrow.

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