Arsenal went to the Bernabéu to face Real Madrid in the 2006 Champions League second round. The match was on ITV and that rotten Man Utd supporting donkey-bothering, afterbirth drinking, vagina scab Peter Drury was in the commentary box doing his level best to ruin the watching experience for Gooners up and down the country with the kind of ridiculous patronising tone that would warrant being

So it looks like The King is back! I’ll lay it down straight away by saying I am totally against it. I’m not really sure how we can benefit from this two month loan in the way others think. I, as I believe many others are, am of the option the boss should be looking at better long term solution than a guy whose best years are some way behind him. Our position in the top four is facing it’s greatest threat in many a year and this is not the time to allow our hearts to rule over our heads. A club of our size and stature should be looking for much, much better long term solutions rather than clinging onto the past like some sort of poor mans Liverpool. The club has incorporated ‘Forward’ into the crest this year and this signing is anything but. What has happened to the extensive international scouting network? Is there REALLY no better option in the whole of world football?

‘Better than Chamakh’ should not be the sole defining reason for signing a player. There are countless players in English football alone that would make a better fist of things than the Moroccan at present but that doesn’t mean they are good enough to play for The Arsenal. 

I guess my biggest gripe is the fact that he seems to be a stop gap to shut the fans up rather than addressing the real problem. If he came in alongside at least two other players of genuine quality, fine. But as we all know, Wenger rarely looks to dealing with long term issues mid-season and more likely than not, Henry will be the only new… erm… kind of new face we will be seeing.  I question how the signing of Henry will show that the club is moving forward & how it would convince other players of the club’s ambition. I think mainly of Robin – especially give the fact it was rumoured that the two never really got on in the past. 

I also wonder what is he actually going to do in these two months? The Premier League is a different playground to the one he left and his aging legs are unlikely to be able to keep up with the rigors of the game on these shores having been pretty much playing in, let’s face facts, a vastly inferior league. 

Anyway, that’s my two cents. I might be wrong, he might score hat tricks every week and come the end of February, I may well be pleading that he stay on til the end of the season. Whether you agree or not with the signing, it’s hard not to get as excited as teenage girl at a Justin Beiber concert. Thierry is a legend in every sense of the word and blessed us with some great times. 

In no particular order…

1. The winner v Manchester United.

In terms of actual goals, I much preferred the spin and volley at Highbury in 2000 but in terms of occasion, this one gets the nod. I’ve previously spoken of this as the first Emirates stadium classic. CRonaldo gave the northern monkeys the lead before Robin van Persie’s equaliser. During the celebration, Thierry looked to have had a word in a despondent Gary Neville’s shell-like. We don’t know what was said but I’m hoping that it was something along the lines of ‘Take that, you rat-faced mug!’ Only more French. 

Of course that wasn’t to Henry’s last contribution. As people tried to pick holes in Henry’s game throughout his career, ‘big game bottler’ and ‘not that good in the air’ were just two of the oft-repeated and factually inaccurate criticisms levelled at him. He was able to silence the naysayers in the dying seconds of this particular game…

2. Hat trick v Liverpool

For all the great moments during the Invincibles season, there was one miserable week in April which saw dreams of the treble dashed in heartbreaking fashion as we crashed out of both the FA Cup and Champions League to United and Chelsea respectively in just four frustrating days. Henry had a shocker in the game against the chavs and was actually subbed off with ‘injury’ during the second half. 

Three days later, as if anyone needed reminding, Titi was to remind any doubters of his class. Liverpool came to a subdued Highbury smelling blood and took an early lead. Henry equalised but then Michael Owen slotted home before half time as Arsenal conceded twice in the league for only the second time that season. Things were not looking good but after Pires equalised, it was time for the king to take centre stage…

Henry completed his hat trick in a 4-2 win that proved to be the springboard for Arsenal to win the title and complete the season unbeaten.

3. Slaloming in Madrid.

Anyone who pays attention to anything I say will know that one of my pet hates is football fans whinging about bias in the media. However, even I was seething before Arsenal went to the Bernabéu to face Real Madrid in the 2006 Champions League second round. The match was on ITV and that rotten Man Utd supporting donkey-bothering, afterbirth drinking, vagina scab Peter Drury was in the commentary box doing his level best to ruin the watching experience for Gooners up and down the country with the kind of ridiculous patronising tone that would warrant being stabbed in the face repeatedly with a bayonet. 

Drury spoke of Arsenal as though they were a non-league side having their big day out in the FA Cup. Listening to him, one would think Madrid merely had to show up to book their passage to the next round. Never have I been so infuriated by commentary in my entire life. 

As it transpired, Arsenal were not over-awed by the occasion and actually put up a decent fight in the first half and were unfortunate to go in level at the break. The deadlock was broken in the second half by a piece of unforgettable footballing genius…

The goal won Arsenal the match and subsequently the tie. Stick that up yer cunt, Drury.

4. Slaloming against Spurs

The less said about Tottenham and Arsenal’s recent performances in the North London derby, the better. In a rather unsettling turn of events, we are looking up the table at them lot and matches against them seem to swing in their favour more often than not at present. Although, it’s not that long ago when they were lambs to the slaughter and derby day was just like any other as they mercilessly dispatched in games that must have felt about as comfortable to them to watch as domestic violence. 

One such occasion saw a comfortable 3-0 win which would have otherwise unremarkable if not for this feat of unrivalled awesomeness from the big man which actually went into the record books for making the greatest number of people simultaneously reach orgasm without being touched…

5. Goodbye to Highbury

Much has been made of Henry’s return supposedly tarnishing his legacy. Not for me. If he plays like a drunk Emile Heskey for the next two months, it still wont take away what he has done for the club. His contributions and achievements are permanently ingrained on the club like a tramp stamp on a South London teenage girl. 

The last ever football match played at our Highbury home could not have gone any better as Henry, like in the abovementioned Liverpool game, scored a hat trick to turn a 2-1 deficit into a 4-2 win. Igno
ring the fact, it meant we pipped those bastards from up the road to the final Champions League spot, there was no better way to say goodbye to the old ground. If this moment doesn’t still choke you up when watching it, I question whether you actually have a soul…

So there you have it. The greatest player ever to wear the Arsenal shirt looks to be coming back – whether for better or for worse, only time will tell.